The Skinny

HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE INTERNET is a social-satirical fiction novel, complete at approximately 64,000 words.

HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE INTERNET is a parody of the dystopian genre. It asks a simple question and then proceeds to have a fun time answering it. What would happen if the internet went away one day, never to come back? It got married at the same altar of literary fiction that many other new-adult fiction stories did. Although, if I’m being honest, this novel still likes to cut it up with its stag speculative fiction buddies. And it also might still be having an affair with its popular fiction side-pieces, both fantasy and adventure fiction.

The Blurb

A world without wi-fi. A future without freedom.

This story starts with a choice. A foolish one. Bertrand Allen chooses to get out of bed on a cold winter morning. This regretful choice slips him into a vivid fever dream of an unfamiliar world. A world which has lost their most vital possession: the Internet. Bertrand must now search for Wi-Fi, escape Grammar Nazis, romance a hipster princess, and make it to the temple of the Internet. What world-wide-web of fate awaits him? Can he restore balance to the world? Or will he set humanity free?

The Positioning

This novel’s main audience is everyone that grew up with the internet. More-so, anyone that watched the internet evolve into what it has become today. This novel plays in the garden of satirical fiction themes. Yet, it still eats with a judicial appetite from the fantasy and adventure tree. So, readers of similar works by Tom Robbins and Terry Pratchett will enjoy this type of narrative. Who else might be the target reader? Anyone who has ever gotten frustrated with a dial-up internet access. Or anyone who wished they could go back before the internet made their lives so dang complicated. And this book is for anyone that wants to reflect on how much technology has shaped our human condition. The internet giveth and the internet taketh away.


If you are a prospective literary agent or publishing house and are interested in representing this work, please don’t hesitate to contact Thomson Woods. You can email him at